Flutterbabies, Dust Hazards, & Glitter Glue Bombs
by TwiStarJunkie
Summary: Edward and Bella are at it again…literally, and this time? They're plus one.


**SURPRISE! **

**Here's my submission piece for the F4OK compilation.**

**I want to thank all of those that contributed to the fundraiser and made it such a big success :) **

**To Twi-Mom12292005, Je-Suis-B, Anakin Smom... THANK YOU for making it so pretteh! LOL!**

**Without further ado!**

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***~FDH&GGB~***

"Edward, can you get that?!"

_Dammit._ I grumbled to myself as I rolled out of bed and onto the floor. I could hear a loud pounding at the front door downstairs, and not knowing who it was, I really could've given a rat's ass about answering it.

Between the bullshit on last night's route, the number of times Bella and I had gotten up with Anthony, and our insatiable libidos, I'd had shit for sleep.

I wondered where in the hell she was that prevented her from making her fine ass way to the door, but I'd questioned her once before, and I'd learned my lesson well the first time.

With a scratch to my head and a pull at my balls—what? They fucking itched!—I pulled my pajama pants on and a white t-shirt before stumbling downstairs.

However, by the time I reached the foot of the stairs, my beautiful wife was standing there at the banister, a stern look on her face, and our son on her hip.

"Wow, that's attractive. You know, when I ask you a question, a simple yes or no would be nice."

"Sorry. I'm not exactly responsive when I'm fucking _sleeping_, Princess. Now, if you'll excuse me; I believe I need to _get that._"

Yeah. You don't have to say it.

Some things never change. I'd be paying for that later; I hadn't learned shit when it came to controlling my damn mouth.

"Daddy, wanna come join my Volterrian tea party upstairs?" Emily begged beside me, literally coming out of nowhere.

If you didn't guess from that statement alone, she had been brought into the fairy family. Emmett, the fucking genius that he is, got a wild hair up his ass one night and showed her his wings because he thought it was something that would make him the coolest person in her book again. However, after a long meeting with Aro over the matter, he determined that it was up to Bella and I whether we wanted her to be brought in when she became of age or not, which that's another topic for another fucking time.

"I will in a little bit, Sweet Pea. Daddy just got up, and there's someone at the door. Let me see what they need, have a cup of coffee, and then I'll be right there, okay?" I told her as nicely as I could, my voice still scratchy as I ran my hand over her blonde curls.

"Okay," she smiled brightly, hugging my leg before jetting back up the stairs.

Sighing heavily, I finally got to the damn door and pulled it open.

_Son of a bitch. Why the _hell _did I open the door? And why the _fuck _were they here?!_

"Oh fuck this," I nearly shouted, starting to shut the door on them when I felt my wife sidle up behind me.

"Baby, who is…Carlisle? Esme? What the hell are you two doing here? Does Aro know about this?" she growled menacingly, placing Anthony carefully in my arms and stepping in front of me.

Yep, she wears the fucking pants, ladies and gentlemen. I'm the pussy in this outfit.

"We were released on good behavior. When were you two going to tell us that we had a grandson?" I heard the old man asked, and dare I say that he actually sounded fucking offended?

"We weren't. Good behavior? Do I even want to know what that means in their world?"

"May we come in? There are some things that we'd like to say to both you and the little sh…" I heard the old man start to say, but then he stopped short and his voice softened, "and our son. I swear, Bella, we aren't here to make any trouble for the two of you; quite the opposite really."

Something told me that if she let those two assholes in—be they my parents or not—we would live to regret it; I didn't know how, but we would.

Trust.

***~FDH&GGB~***

"I just don't think we should take the chance, Princess. I wish you would trust me on this shit!" I told her because, at the moment, she was seriously taking my conniving parents at their word.

"Baby, they said they were sorry. All they want is to be given an opportunity to get to know Emily and be a part of Anthony's life. Now, had they have shown up here in the same state they were before they were shipped off to Volterra, then hell no. I'd have told them to fuck off, but I just don't think it's like that. Something in them has changed, Edward. Can't you see it?"

"I'm assuming that you completely missed the part where he almost slipped and called me 'little shit', right?" I asked her, craning my neck around to look her in the eye.

We were sat on our balcony, looking out over the backyard on a chaise lounge. Her back was to my chest, my arms wrapped firmly around her as our legs laid tangled together.

She'd actually managed to get Anthony down for a nap an hour ago, though he would most likely wake in the next ten minutes. That lil' fucker never slept long.

Don't judge me. I don't know what the fuck is in breast milk, but that kid can shoot shit across a room like no other I've ever seen, and I've been fucking hit with it more times than I care to admit, so I think I've earned the damn right to call him whatever name I feel suits him at the moment.

And as of right now, it's 'fucker'.

I'm cranky. I'm horny as hell, and I feel neglected.

Ever since Anthony was born a little over two months ago, I've had little to no _real _time with my wife. Don't get me wrong. I love my son with all my heart. He's amazing, but I don't think I really need to explain it. Between his feedings, diaper changes, naps, and then Emily's needs, Bella is spread extremely thin. Add to that our job at the paper, taking care of our region in the fairy realm, _and _still managing to work our routes and train—well, more like occupy—Charlie and Emmett in the meantime…

See what I mean?

Now, we _were _still us, but it just…dammit! It wasn't meeting my needs. I needed more. As it was, our form of getting off was a quick hand or blow job and finger fuck in the shower every other day. That was it. And every once in a while, on a good day—if we were lucky—we might manage a two minute quickie in bed, but _nothing _like what we'd grown accustomed to before Anthony had come along.

No, wait…it had been longer than that. It hadn't been good since before she swelled up like a damned beach ball. Let me tell you, fairy fucking with a giant ball between you is some tricky shit people, but wow, does it ever make for an interesting show of shadow puppets.

Yeah, forget I just said that.

"Edward, baby, we can't just cut them out completely. It's not like I'm saying 'hey, let's have them keep the kids overnight' or anything," she told me, rubbing my hands softly.

"I know that. I just have a bad fucking feeling about this, Bella," I sighed, nuzzling my face into her neck and pressing my lips against her skin. "What time are Bree and Emmett supposed to get here tonight?"

The two of them had taken up babysitting the kids for us while we did our route, starting up theirs when we returned.

"I think she said around nine tonight. Dad will be here in about twenty minutes though."

I had to hold back the growl that wanted to burst forth from my chest. I had so much shit I needed to say to that, but in order to keep from starting a fight, I would keep my mouth shut…for once in my fucking life.

I just had to remind myself…I was doing this shit for her.

***~FDH&GGB~***

"Ooohh look, Bells! They have jelly beans!" Charlie boomed, fucking tippy-toeing across the hardwood floor of Constable Bowers living room. Bella excitedly followed after him.

"Is there any licorice in there?"

"Hell if I know," he mumbled around a mouthful.

I stood across the room, arms crossed at my chest as I watched my wife and her father act like fucking imbeciles.

He had an obsession with touch just as bad as Bella did, if not worse. As it was, her wedding ring and his goddamn watch clanging against the crystal of the candy bowl the beans were in was liable to wake the blasted neighborhood.

Why the hell the crazy bastard was still tagging along with us was beyond me, but I was going to put a stop to that shit.

Tonight.

Bella and I hadn't gone on a route together—alone—in over a yearand dammit, I needed…no. I wanted it back.

The fuck-ups, the airborne fuck fests, the back and forth bickering…I lived for that shit with Bella, and lately, with her good old Daddy tagging along, we'd had nothing.

"Are you two done yet?" I bit out.

"Will you chill out?" Charlie mumbled around his beans.

"Princess, we've got another six houses to hit, and after the shit we dealt with last night, I really would appreciate getting in at a decent fucking hour, so would you please try not to fuck anything else up toni…"

"Edward," she said shakily, her eyes large as Charlie's grew and his jaw dropped, beans spilling out of his mouth and to the floor. "DUCK!"

_Motherfucker, why does this shit always happen to me?_

I ducked, but obviously not in time because the fist of some giant powerhouse Mohammed Ali, caught the side of my face and sent me to the floor. Surprisingly enough, I was still fucking conscious, but I wouldn't be able to say the same for Charlie once I got to my fucking feet.

A few seconds later, the beast of a man slumped to the floor beside me as Bella began trying to help me up. Her soft hands smoothed over my face repeatedly as her voice shook.

"Oh my fucking God, Edward, baby, you okay? You're a goddamn tooth fairy! How the hell did you get hit? Isn't there a law against that shit? Shouldn't you be invincible or something?"

I had to laugh at her as pressed a kiss against her cheek. "Princess, you've been a fairy for more than a year. You and I both know probably more than any other fucking fairy out there that we aren't invincible to shit, and if there was a law against being hit by a human, you and I would have a fucking book of people to prosecute for violating us."

I then glanced down at the asshole on the ground. "So, who dusted Attila?"

"Who do you think?" she questioned, arching a brow at me and then glancing in the direction of her dumbass Police Chief Daddy who was now chowing down on a donut.

Fucking cops. They found donuts everywhere they went.

"Princess, I know you're protective of Charlie, but he's more than capable of taking on his own goddamn route now. This shit is getting old. You and I fuck up enough on our own, but since he's been with us, it's been ridiculous and…"

"Edward?" she interrupted.

"Yeah?" I sighed, thinking she was going to lay into me.

"Call Emmett to come and pick his ass up."

"What? Bella, I didn't mean we had to…"

"I don't give a shit. Look, you aren't the only one that's in need of some _time_, okay?" she told me, giving me a look that I hadn't seen in fucking ages.

Her eyes darkened and fuck, when she licked her lips, I couldn't help it. My dick went from flaccid to hard as fucking steel in record time, straining uncomfortable against the seam of my pants.

"Edward, you pull out your pecker, and I'll fucking shoot it off, asshole," Charlie mumbled around his donut.

"All right, Dad, here's what's about to happen. Edward's calling Em to come and get you. Starting tomorrow night, you'll have your own route. There's no reason for you to be tagging along with us anymore," Bella bit out.

"Oh come on, Bells. Don't make me go and do this shit on my own! I'll be bored as hell!" he griped.

"Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how badly you've fucked shit up for us in the past year?!" I snapped. "Just last night, you set off two house alarms, a car alarm, broke a fucking garage door—though I still don't know how you did that—you broke a fifty gallon fish tank because you wanted to know what it felt like to touch a fucking _lion fish_, then you knocked over a curio cabinet full of china! All of that shit in separate fucking houses, and that's _not _including mine and Bella's fuck ups! I can't take this shit anymore, Charlie! I need time with my wife, dammit! God knows I don't get any at the fucking house because if it isn't the kids needing us in some way, shape, or form, it's you or Emmett showing up, or its work _or…or…OR_…"

Suddenly, I could feel myself being pushed back against a wall, and my wife pressing herself against me.

I was freaking the hell out, I knew I was, but I didn't give a shit. I was letting it out. And I knew she thought it was funny because she was laughing against me.

This is completely fucking random too, but you know what's even more disturbing about this whole 'Charlie tags along' thing? Him seeing Bella in her fairy get up every fucking night.

Father or not, she was my fucking wife and I didn't like it.

"Princess, you really aren't helping my case. Right now, I'm hanging on by a thread and I'm not above fucking you in front of his 'po-po' ass," I told her, using the immature old school slang for cop, earning a laugh.

"I'm not above letting you, either," she murmured, kissing my chin.

I then narrowed my eyes as they focused in on daddy dearest behind her.

"So let me get this straight; you're more or less telling me to take a hike and work alone because I'm cramping your style, right?" he questioned flatly. "Or is it because you're a horny little fucker, Edward, and you want my daughter to shove her fingers up your ass like she did a year ago on my front lawn?"

I could feel my blood begin to boil and pulsate in my veins.

"Bella, call Emmett and call him now, because in about two point five seconds, I'm going to officially make the both of you fucking orphans," I growled before launching myself at Charlie.

***~FDH&GGB~***

Almost twenty minutes later, Charlie was out of our fucking hair and off to God knows where with Emmett. Bella had managed to dust her and me—all of my dust had spilled from my bag in the fight with Charlie. Anyway, she had flown us up into the water tower on the south end of town, where I was now leaning against the railing while she tried to calm me down.

My adrenaline was still fucking pumping, and yes, my cock was still impossibly hard. Talk about fucking uncomfortable. Fighting that old asshole with a hard on was not an easy feat; I just thank God that he didn't wind up sporting up one too, and if he did…oh damn, why'd I fucking go there?

"I have to say, Edward, we've had quite the share of fuck ups since we got together, but I've never seen you in this state. Right now, you look like you got done rolling in the hay with fucking Rainbow Brite; you've got every color dust imaginable on you."

"One, I could kick that cartoon bitch's ass. Two, thank fuck we talked Aro into having new formulas worked on because there's no telling what state we'd be in right now," I shot back, laughing.

Quite a few things had changed since Bella and I had taken over our region. It wasn't common for two fairies with our titles to be so involved with the Volturi fairies, but they wanted more of Bella, and I didn't blame them.

Hell, at least with them I wouldn't have to worry about them hitting on her.

One of the most common problems we'd run into when the old man and hag were in charge was the issue with the dust; the hypo-allergenic and the straight laced, potent, grade A fairy dust kept getting switched around and mixed up to the point where we didn't know our foot from a fucking hole in the ground anymore as to which was what. We couldn't test it on Bella either because, well, if you remember, Aro fixed that shit.

_Man that was a good fucking night!_

Now, grade A fairy dust pretty much no longer existed except for in Volterra. Here, all we carried was hypo-allergenic, and Aro had agreed to allow Bella and I to rewrite a few of the laws and such.

For one thing, the dust no longer worked on us fairies. We were immune to it all, unless administered directly by Aro himself. He was the only one with the power to fucking change or fix anything, which made it a hell of a lot easier.

Another thing, with Bella and I having a, now seven year-old, daughter and newborn son to take care of, it wasn't appropriate for us to be walking around with our wings exposed in such a sensitive manner. One brush against them, innocent or not, would set my cock off. So, Aro had worked for a good couple of months with the scientific theorists and doctors in Volterra, coming up with a whole new way for fairies to go about life in the human world altogether. It was something that should have been fucking thought of ages ago, but what mattered was that I no longer had to worry about lewdly exposing myself in front of my children.

From now on, unless we were on the clock, our wings weren't visible at all. They were still there, but there was no need to strap them down anymore. They wouldn't come popping out of my damn shirts. Nothing. They remained completely encased inside our bodies until we went on the clock.

_Dammit!_ I winced as I was startled out of my thoughts by Bella's hand hitting me upside the head.

"What the fuck, Princess?!"

"Well, it's about damn time! Where the hell did you go? Are you sure Dad didn't give you a concussion or something?" she grinned, still sweeping her hands over me as I watched the dust billow in clouds around us.

"Shit, I'm sure he wishes he did right about now. We really do have six houses left, you know," I told her, raising my hand and trailing a finger down the side of her face.

"We do," she said matter-of-factly, "but we're also our own bosses, baby. We're finally alone; the kids are with Bree. Dad is with Em," my wife murmured, drawing closer to me and nipping lightly at my bottom lip.

"There a reason we're back in the water tower, Princess?" I asked huskily, leaning my head down and rubbing my day old stubble against her neck and jaw, knowing full well how much she got off on being fucked up here. I don't know what it was about this damn tower, but she fucking loved it, and shit, I wasn't about to start asking questions.

"Why are your fucking pants still on, Tink?" she growled, fisting my shirt and jerking me roughly against her, eyeballing me hard, her eyes dark with lust.

_Oh fuck the bantering bullshit_, I shouted inside my head as I threaded my hand in the hair at the back of her neck and crushed my mouth to hers, thrusting my tongue deep as though I hadn't tasted her in ages.

"Fuck," she moaned against my lips, literally throwing her body against mine and grabbing the hair at the sides of my head and pulling me further into her, causing our teeth to clang together.

A feral sound ripped from my chest as I forced my free hand between us, deftly removing the fanny packing and undoing the button and zipper to my pants. Once done, I hooked my hand beneath her knee, hitching it up on my hip and ground myself forcefully into her.

This was not going to be fucking gentle, and she needed to know that.

Now.

But my beautiful wife needed no warning. No. She was fucking right there with me.

As her hips gyrated against me at a furious pace, her tiny hands had left my hair. I could feel her fingers on my shirt, playing with the buttons, but when a tear sounded out and the several pings echoed around us, I pulled my mouth from hers, looking at her in amazement.

_She hadn't just done what I think she had…had she? _

The sex-crazed look she was giving me told me all I needed to know. My shirt flapped in the breeze as the buttons lay scattered around us on the platform. Shaking my head at her, I bit my bottom lip watching with rapt attention as she removed the lacy, purple top of her uniform from her body, baring her glorious, swollen tits to me.

"Jesus Christ, you're so fucking beautiful," I rasped as my hand moved from her hair and wrapped low around her back, giving her support as she arched backwards, offering her chest up to me.

I leaned down, alternating between kisses and flicks of my tongue along her sternum as she whimpered into the night, her hips still moving against my cock as I continued to thrust into her.

"Ugh, baby, please," she cried, "do something…they hurt."

She needn't elaborate; I knew exactly what she meant. Since she was still breastfeeding, and Anthony had missed a feeding, she needed to express her milk and adding arousal to that just made it worse; they were tender enough as it was.

And I _always _fucking take care of my girl.

I groaned low in my throat. Touching my tongue to her skin and licking a path on her right tit, taking her nipple into my mouth, and fucking suckled at her like a man starved. With gentle caresses of my tongue against her nipple, I swallowed the sweet fluid as my other hand tenderly massaged her other breast, trying to ease the tension.

When I was sure I'd helped alleviate the pressure, I switched tits. Her moans and whimpers grew deeper and huskier the longer I continued, and my need to be inside of her was more intense than ever.

"Princess, I need to fucking be inside of you," I breathed raggedly against her sternum as she raked her nails along my scalp, meeting my eyes when I lifted my head, licking at my lips.

"Again I ask, why the fuck are your pants still on?"

We both grinned at that, and without another word, I helped her stand back upright and so began the furious pace at tearing our damn clothes from our bodies.

The second my pants hit that platform, she had me pinned to the damn tower and was climbing my body like a fucking tree.

I didn't even have time to place my hands on the underside of her ass before she'd impaled herself on my thick cock and had begun riding me.

My hands splayed across either side of her ribcage, holding firmly to her as I tried to regain control, because as it was, she had taken me by surprise and this was going to be over long before I ever really began.

"_Shit! _Bella, baby, wait…wait a second..." I gasped, my voice strained as I restrained her from moving.

"What…"

"Give me a second. I'm about to blow…I want this to last, Princess; I'm not some two pump chump, so don't make me one, okay?"

She arched a brow at me and pressed her lips to mine hungrily, flattening a hand against my neck affectionately. "I know you're not, Edward. I just…fuck, I just want you so bad," she rushed out on a laugh, rubbing her nose against mine.

"Somehow I don't think that's the problem, Princess," I murmured, flipping us around and then smiling smugly as she screamed in surprise.

Not breaking eye contact, I slowly withdrew from her until just my tip remained inside then waited a moment before slamming back in to the hilt, her mouth dropping open in a silent scream.

"You have dust?" I whispered into her ear.

"Y..ee...ee..s…sss," she cried out in broken syllables as I pounded into her relentlessly.

"Then dust us, baby. We're going airborne."

***~FDH&GGB~***

There was no way in hell I was going back to the way shit had been for the past year or so.

Not after tonight.

Being with Bella, my wife, like that again had been exactly what I'd needed. And if I'm being honest, I could totally go another three or four rounds. That's how fucking good it had been.

We had just arrived home, and Bella was in the kitchen talking to Bree, while I stood here in the living room with Anthony squirming in my arms, screaming his fucking head off.

It was almost as if the fucker knew that I'd dabbled in his dinner or some shit. Oh well, it wasn't like I hadn't left anything for him. I was there first, dammit. They were mine.

"Shhh, she'll be right back, buddy," I cooed to him, rubbing at his back as he continued to scream and hiccup against me. The rocking, the bouncing…nothing worked. Not when he was hungry, and…

_Oh…DAMN…_

"Bella!" I called out.

When she came running from the kitchen, I was holding Anthony out to her as far as my arms could reach.

"What's wrong?"

"Rank," was all I said.

With a roll of the eyes, Bella took him from me and bid goodbye to Bree.

"You know, he's your son too, Edward. One of these days, you're going to have to change his damn diaper."

"Yeah, and you know what, Princess? I tried that! He's shit on me more times than I can count! How many times have you been shit bombed? Huh?" I shot back.

She simply glared back at me over her shoulder.

I couldn't be bothered by it though. My eyes were glued to the sultry, sexy as fuck sway of her hips as she walked up the stairs to his nursery. Yeah, there was no way in hell I wasn't having some more of that ass tonight.

_NO way in HELL!_

We entered the nursery, Bella placing Anthony on the changing table and leaving me to stand guard over him.

I watched as she moved around our son's room, getting what she needed from his dresser. And when she bent over, giving me a prime view of her glistening pussy, I just knew she was doing it on fucking purpose—we were still in uniform after all.

When she rose back up, clean blanket in hand, she wore a wicked grin and sauntered back in my direction. I glanced at my watch, grinning in satisfaction when I noticed that Emily would most definitely be asleep by now, so we were safe.

She stepped in front of me and got to work on Anthony.

Unable to stop myself, I braced my arms on either side of her. Moving her hair away from her neck with my chin and then nuzzling my face there, lavishing her skin with hot, open-mouthed kisses. Realizing it would be a hell of a lot easier if I was freed from my fucking pants, I quickly unzipped my pants and let my cock out, slipping it between her thighs. I then pressed my body tightly against her, groaning deeply as I began sliding in and out, my dick high enough to graze her pussy with each stroke.

I could hear her breath becoming labored as she changed Anthony's diaper, her hands shaking from trying to control her movements.

"This is so not fair, Edward Cullen," she moaned weakly as my son kicked and squirmed.

"Don't even try to pretend you aren't enjoying this, Princess."

But then…

Then I saw my son's face start to scrunch up with the telltale signs of a sneeze. That was bad for two reasons: One, I had my dick between Bella's legs. Two, my son was born of two fairies, and hence was born covered in fairy dust…and severely allergic to it. We'd had to formulate a special eye drop for him just to remedy the effects, which were that he'd take on the appearance of a full blown puffer fish and it wasn't just his face. It was his whole damn body.

Sure enough, on my third thrust since having noticed his face, the sneeze sounded out, startling Bella, and Anthony blew up.

Me? The movement her body made as she jumped rubbed me just right because it triggered my release to shoot off, and well… dammit, she had turned, and…

Oh, fuck…there it was, square on her heaving chest, and a bit on her chin, the light catching the flecks of glitter just right.

She'd just been glitter glue bombed. I was so fucking dead.

* * *

**A/N: As mentioned in the compilation, and as some of you may have already guessed, this IS the first chapter of the sequel! **

**YAY! **

**I just couldn't let go of Fairyward. The mouthy bastard grew on me LOL**

**I ask that you be patient with me as I'm currently organizing and working on another fundraiser at the moment. **

**I'm still in the stages of pre-writing for this one and another ;) **

**Once I feel I'm far enough ahead, I'll begin posting regularly again!**

**So again, THANK YOU!**

**I can't wait to hear the reactions to this one *snickers***

***~T~***


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